I’m not really sure what’s going on here but I think I want to start blogging again. I tried it for all of two weeks last summer and it just about killed me. Your life starts to revolve around your blog and you become really self-centered and I don’t need any help in that regard…..just ask my husband. What I do know though is that I feel like garbage physically and something needs to change. I know my bud Lindsey @Happy or Hungry (http://happyorhungry.com/) mentioned that she never looked or felt better than when she was just blogging about food. Perhaps this will be my saviour? Really, I’m ready to try anything.
My weight and health have been a constant struggle for me. I was a normal kid and then middle school happened. I gained some weight before heading into grade 7 and being slightly overweight in grade 7 meant you were a whale. I was ‘friends’ with the wrong people and I was made fun of constantly. In today’s day and age, it would be called bullying. I’m not going to get into the stories. Most people have them. Although I do think I have more stored in my memory than your average girl. This caused me to not eat all day at school for fear of being teased and then binge eat when I got home. It is safe to say I gained a lot of weight. I was no longer a little overweight, I was a big girl. I had a on a premium fat suit if you will. Luckily middle school is only two years and high school was much better. Actually, high school was a dream. I had a lot of friends and had some of the best times of my life (more on this later). I even managed to lose some weight, as I worked at a gym and well…I was a teenager, so my metabolism was not the enemy it is now. Then came university and the freshman 15 ended up being the freshman 30. To be fair, this 30 pounds was spread out over six years and several ups and downs, but still by the end of my B.A. and B.Ed. I was the heaviest I’d ever been. When I came home from Teacher’s College I guess I had enough of feeling and looking like garbage and I cut out all grain related carbs (in addition to tons of cardio) and lost about 20 pounds. I then moved out to Alberta to teach for two years. The first year I maintained this loss and then some. When I moved home I met my now husband, who was also a former ‘big boy.’ Together we embarked on a healthy eating party and I lost another 20 pounds. I wasn’t just eating well, I was also working out 6 days a week. At 27, I was in the best shape of my life. I could have kicked 17 year old Dawn’s ass ten times over.
Then, and I’m sure you can guess, this is where my story piques. I came home, bought a house that needed a 100% makeover and had pretty much minus zero minutes to go to the gym. I may have had the summer ‘off’ but that was the hardest I’d ever worked in my life. At the same time, I entered my Master of Education. Once the house was finished I was able to make time to get to the gym a few times a week and really, I maintained my weight for about a year. I wasn’t as fit but I still felt pretty good about things. While finishing my Master’s final project, I started the beginnings of my dream job at a college during the Fall semester. While it was only partial load, in conjunction with my Masters, I was again back to having no time to myself. I also had no set schedule like I did as an elementary teacher, which I’m finding makes a huge difference. The weight began to creep back on. I then received full time at the college in the Winter semester. While professionally I felt like I had won the lottery, in regards to my fitness, things only got worse. My schedule was busier and even more erratic. I thought I would be able to pull myself together over the summer….but it was summer and I was the most self indulgent, albeit tanned teacher, you’ve ever seen. I kind of looked like this:
This past Winter semester I started another job at a university, on top of my college job and really my desire and time to work out went right out the window. I’m a stress eater and you can believe I was stressed. In addition to these two jobs I also got married and bought a home. Oh, and I was finishing up a College Teaching Certificate. Wowza! However, that is all now behind me and I find myself with 3 1/2 months to GET WITH IT! This is where the blogging comes in. I’m really, really, really hoping this is the ticket. I am sick of making excuses for myself and I’m also sick of feeling sick and tired. I sometimes feel that I don’t have the energy to bring to my job that it and my students deserve; hence the name change of this blog. I really want to feel like I am fit to teach again. I felt so amazing before and I want to get back there again (although I now know 6 days a week in the gym is not maintainable with my current lifestyle).
I think the first stage is getting back into some of the healthy habits that I held dear before. Working out a few times a week, drinking tons of water, cutting down on my portions and experimenting with new, healthy recipes. Which is where the first stage of my plan comes in; the fridge clean out. I find purging your fridge of any old and unnecessary food really helps you to feel like you are starting from a clean slate. So I did that yesterday afternoon….and my kitchen looked like this:
In the end though it looked like this:
Well, with more than just veggies. But you can see, I really did start from scratch. I then went grocery shopping today and did the old perimeter of the grocery store (and a few other aisles for Markus who doesn’t seem to have gained back ANY of the weight we lost together in Calgary). Men’s metabolisms = infuriating.
So here I am, starting again. Having lost and gained a little and then losing and gaining a lot, starting over again seems unbelievably daunting but honestly I have no choice. Even if this only forces me to reconsider a meal here and there because it’s going to be on the blog (gasp!) that will be an improvement over what is currently occurring up in hur.
Here’s to being back on the horse and hopefully once again being fit to teach!
Oh and because I also promised laughs here’s a little fitness related something for you:
Two of my favourites; a terrible expression and beautiful man.